The moving truck pulled away a couple of weeks ago. I’m not going to sugarcoat it. I have spent some time blazingly mad at my husband for moving us to Wisconsin. Yes, the job opportunity was a great one and yes, there are so much more opportunities here for our kids.
But, this isn’t what I wanted – dreamed of.
Colorado feels more like home to me. The mild weather, endless trails through the mountains, breathtaking skies along with all of the opportunities I wanted for my kids.
It’s just another dream, another plan that didn’t go according to my expectations. Much of my life has been this way. Most people could say the same.
Since we have arrived, the trials have not left us. There is my anger and depression to contend with. I am a fighter and a fairly positive person, but I am struggling. It’s been six months of persevering through difficulties and I am weary. The problems now are small and short term like the weekly pumping of septic holding tank because they can’t dig our leach fields until the ground is thawed. We were told the tank would probably only need to be pumped once, but a 1,600-gallon tank doesn’t go very far. My anxiety level goes up a few notches every time I hear a faucet run or a toilet flush. I have threatened to make everyone shower outside except for the cold temps and the mud.
Oh the mud!
The house we purchased is new. The final grade hasn’t been done yet because when we purchased the house there was still about a foot of snow on the ground. At times the situation is comical, like when the mud swallows my son’s boot and he falls butt first into the mud while trying to relocate his leg. But other days, like when the dog sinks up to her elbows in mud, the hose is on the moving truck which hasn’t arrived yet, the Newfoundland-water-rescue-dog won’t dip her foot in a bucket of water to clean her feet and the Culligan guy shows up while all of it is going on and happens to be the rudest person I’ve encountered in a very long time. On those types of days, I feel truly stuck in the miry mud.
Yet, these are the words that I came across the other day during my quiet time.
First, a little background to the situation. The Israelites were on their exodus out of Egypt. The Lord delivered the Israelites from years of slavery and oppression. He demonstrated His power through plagues, parting of seas, provisions of water and manna all the while guiding the Israelites day and night. Their feet never swelled, their clothes never wore out (Deuteronomy 8:4). Yet, here is an account from Moses as he reminds the Israelites what led to an additional 40 years in the wilderness as punishment for their lack of faith and obedience:
So I said to you: Don’t be terrified or afraid of them! The Lord your God who goes before you will fight for you, just as saw you Him do for you in Egypt. And you saw in the wilderness how the Lord your God carried you as a man carries his son all along the way you traveled until you reached this place. But in spite of this you did not trust the Lord your God, who went before you on the journey to seek out a place for you to camp. (Deuteronomy 1:29-33)
You see, Wisconsin may not be the place that I had planned, but a sovereign God surely knew I would end up here. This same God has seen me through so much hardship in my life that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He will do it again. I just need to trust Him.
He Lifted me out of the miry mud and He will do it again.
So, I’m pulling my Muck boots up out of the miry mud and I’m focusing on the word that God keeps reminding me of this week.
Praise that He has risen so that I may have eternal life.
Praise to the One who has pulled me repeatedly out of the muck.
Praise to Him who has given me an amazing family, a beautiful new home and a bounty of wildlife in my own backyard – deer, turkey, cranes, bluebirds, eagles and woodchucks.
Praise for His enduring faithfulness even when I become faithless.
Praise to Him who has given me hope.
Now to Him who is able to do above and beyond all we ask or think according to the power that works in us – to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen (Ephesians 3:20-21)
Until next time,